Switches

On his blog Travis Neilson talks about the default switches of our life, the decisions we shy away from because we are afraid they might disrupt business as usual. This goes to the point where we become afraid to make even the smallest changes and enter a sort of cruise mode. In this article I want to examine why switches are so important to leading a fulfilling life.

When we're young, we tend to throw switches at random, just to see what happens. Tug at the cat's tail. Push the book off the table. Fling our food on the floor. We're great switch-throwers because we have no idea about the consequences of our actions.

Parents in this regard have an extremely difficult job, which at points contradicts itself. They have to teach their children that their actions have consequences, and bigger ones than just getting a scolding. At the same time, it is imperative that they provide safe environments with lots of switches to flip that won't cause catastrophes. It's a veritable tight rope act, but neglecting it isn't an option.

If you don't teach your children about consequences, they will have great problems getting to where they want because they won't know it takes dedication as well as passion for excellence. They will fail and give up more and more, eventually becoming unable to handle their own life because they never understood what consequences mean.

If you take away all the fun switches and make everything have dire consequences, you rob your children of their chance to experiment and to find out what they really want. They will become locked in a path and will shy away from opportunities like Gammas in Brave New World. They will let their life run on default, with the default settings first determined by you, then their employers and spouses. They won't even dare making small adjustments to their life any more.

Both choices are equally miserable. So, if you feel you're locked in a certain path, try and regain that safe feeling by throwing small switches spontaneously. Instead of buying your usual brand of shampoo, go for an exciting new one. Instead of going to the same italian restaurant every week, switch gears and grab some Chinese. Instead of going to the cinema on Thursday, go to the theatre. Instead of the bungalow at the great lakes you always rent for two weeks in summer, go to Europe.

Make gradually bigger decisions, and feel how it empowers you. Soon, you will be strong enough to throw any switch you want. And you will.

If on the other hand you feel you fail at everything you try, pick one thing that you were passionate about as a child and try to become really good at it. Feel the sense of accomplishment that comes from finishing it. Celebrate successes, however small. Start by getting up early and regularly every morning. Spend an hour every day toward your goal. Wanted to become a fireman? Try out for their training. If you're not fit enough, train. Stick with it. You want to get a job? Set small goals: collect and assess possible jobs one day. Make a list of all the contacts and their requirements the next. The day after that, write your resumé, after that the cover letter, and your bio. Make a few steps each day. Savour the success.

Anything is possible if you stick with it.